


without you (heaven isn't really heaven)

by EllaYuki



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Feels, Getting Together, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27660151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaYuki/pseuds/EllaYuki
Summary: And Dean is content, and he is at peace.Except...Except.Except,he's nothappy.Except,there is a glaring elephant in the room. The absence that tears at him and mocks him and gives him doubts that he didn't think he could have in Heaven.In Heaven, after having met up with Sam, and while meeting long lost loved ones, Dean waits.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40





	without you (heaven isn't really heaven)

It's an adjustment, life in Heaven. Well, _afterlife_ , whatever. Dean supposes it's something everybody has to get used to, peace, and having those they've loved most in life close again.

Sam reunites with Eileen (and with Jessica, and with Sarah, eventually), and they all go visit Mom and Dad, and they haul ass to Charlie's, too, where Dean hugs her like the fate of the universe depends on it. ("I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.", "Shut up, it wasn't your fault.")

Ellen and Jo and Jody meet them at the Roadhouse, and after another round of hugs, Dean gets himself slapped by the former Sheriff of Sioux Falls. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do that, you reckless little shit," she tells him, before she pulls him back into her arms. "Of all the stupid ways to die."

"Claire?" he asks, half terrified.

Jody smiles. "She'll be along. But not yet."

Yes. Most everyone they've ever loved and lost, they find in Heaven at one point or another. 

And Dean is content, and he is at peace.

Except…

Except.

_Except_ , he's not _happy_.

_Except,_ there is a glaring elephant in the room. The absence that tears at him and mocks him and gives him doubts that he didn't think he could have in Heaven. He knows Cas is out of the Empty, and somewhere out there. Bobby implied it when he first got here, and Charlie confirmed it, and so did Mary.

But Cas has not shown his face to Dean, even after what feels like weeks. Hasn't answered his prayers (and doesn't _that_ bring back painful memories). And Dean has things he needs to say to him. Things he needs to clarify and make right. An answer he must give.

_'Come on, Cas, stop ignoring me,'_ he prays, on yet another night, for what feels like the hundredth time, the thousandth. _'You said one that you always come when I call. You're gonna make a guy think you don't care anymore.'_ It's petty, he knows, maybe a bit harsh, too, even for him, but what else is he supposed to do? 

He closes his eyes, leans against the wall of the little cottage he has to himself (Sam and Eileen invited him to stay with them, but nah, Dean wants his space, and they need their privacy.), and breathes in the night air. 

At long last, there's a shift, after a few long minutes, and the subtle flutter of wings he never thought he'd hear again, and Dean feels hope, and he feels a step closer to happiness.

"Hello, Dean," he hears, and his breath hitches, stutters, his eyes start stinging.

When he looks, finally, Cas is standing a few feet away, looking hesitant, but smiling slightly, nonetheless. His eyes are the same bright blue, even in this semi-darkness. And Dean…

"Took your damn sweet time," Dean snarks with absolutely no heat behind his words. 

Cas looks down, shoulders slumping. "I-" he starts, and _nope_. Dean doesn't want to hear it. Not now, anyway. Not when there's something that's long overdue.

He pushes away from the wall, and in four long strides, he's almost chest to chest with Cas. (Personal space? What's that? Don't know her.) And he's done waiting, he's done hesitating, he's done being afraid. 

He's done denying himself. 

He cups the back of Cas' head, fingers threading through dark hair, and pulls him in.

Breathes "Love you, too," right against Cas' mouth as he dives in for a kiss years in the making. And it's everything he's ever thought it would be and more.

And when Cas wraps his own arms around Dean, groaning, and lets himself drown right alongside him, Dean thinks he finally knows true happiness.


End file.
